And she's afraid to come in the kitchen, even if there's bacon on the floor. Still, I gave her the benefit of the doubt and assumed that she just enjoyed being under there and could get out if she wanted to. My dog does the licking the rug thing, too. I'm a dog!I love your visual representation of the simple dog's "thoughts." my favorite post ever! Don't worry about the test results. But I'm glad you love yours. They capture that "?????" This is the first time I commented on your blog. my black lab does that weird licking thing, too. omg. On her Hyperbole and a Half blog, Allie Brosh writes stories about her life illustrated with a "very precise crudeness." I bet if I did this same stuff to her she wouldn't do anyyyyything! He also can't tell that feet are part of a person if they're wearing socks and seems to view them as some sort of cottony monsters. Great post. At least she's eager to please. You're so great for taking her in! Thank you. By the time we were ready to begin the first part of our two-day journey to Oregon, she seemed almost entirely convinced that she was going to die at any moment. First, I think your posts are hilarious, so I'm totally not trying to be Debbie Downer -- but have you possibly had her checked for a neuro issue? --.--"-French Bean. Nice job making the drive with all of the howling!! :). !I hope your new home treats you well! He's 7 now. one year she barked at a watermelon in a plastic bag for close to an hour. So I guess she wasn't ready to be called "Genius Dog" afterall. I'm in total agreeal* with the person who said these are some of your best drawings ever. But at around two o'clock in the morning, the simple dog finally realized that something was different and maybe she should be alarmed. Why not? (NOTE: When I say "loyal," I mean "stupid." May 5, 2014 - A lingering fear of mine was confirmed last night: My dog might be slightly retarded. website is not responsible for that accuracy of pricing information, product information or the images provided. Laughing and crying uncontrollably now. I'm getting odd looks as I try to stop laughing. So apparently he's not a complete lost cause. doesn't go in the house as long as you make her go outside enough), and if she doesn't completely destroy things or people, or any other pets, and if she's affectionate, then retarded isn't necessarily the worst thing.There are many fine qualities people and animals can have, other than being smart.Of course, you know, try to keep her away from electrical cords, cars, sharp things, water deep enough to drown in, or cliffs. Don't get me wrong, some dogs are just a bit slow, just like some people are, but she could have an issue that's entirely correctable. Beautiful dog art! My dog does the "offer fifteen behaviors in the hope that one of them is what you want" thing. I swear to God, every single one of your posts makes me laugh so hard that I literally have to pause for breath half way through. My Pug stops moving because his way is blocked. [Fluff] Hyperbole and a Half: Simple Dog. I laughed, I cried . Your "quizzical dog" drawings are fantastic! ;/ Okay, she still needs love. :D please post pix of dogs in booties!? I just found out that one of my favorite patients has had her cancer spread to her brain, so this is definitely something I needed after dealing with that the last couple of days.My name is also Allie. I have two dogs. "I'm unable to find a clip of it... but yeah, your story reminds me of it. 2 teaspoons cinnamon. I'm so glad to see you post something new! I got a book for Christmas called 101 Dog Tricks in the hopes I would try to teach her some this summer. XD. Haha! The words hung like a neon sign broadcasting my dog's failure. My husband kept hovering over the last one in nine-one-one, because I laughed so hard he thought I was going to stop breathing! Aw, yay for Hyperbole and a Half. . It was a big dog cone and she was a small dog. Over the ensuing few days, she slowly descended into psychological chaos. Yet again... you've done it again. The simple dog made the noise all through the night and was still going strong the next morning. I fear one of these nights he will kill me in my sleep. Or click the link above. My dog is super ok with moving, loves exploring his new space. Tears in my eyes funny. I turned on my computer... no new post... sad. Maybe I need to google "I am retarded. Pretty much every post I think, "I could not possibly think Allie is more awesome," and then you post something and I think,"wait a minute! it's really strange. The drawings in this one are some of your best so far- the first one was so amazing I just had to stare at it for a few minutes in awe before starting to read :)Keep up the splendiferous work Allie! P.S. Barking! Allie, you're my hero. Holy CROW! I have three cats, as I've never thought I'd be patient enough to train a dog. He failed the test where you put your dog facing in two gates forming a vee (like this >). She made some cursory attempts at freeing herself, but as the seconds ticked by, it became clear that she was not going to pass. My therapy dog feels it is her right to be carried up the stairs, even though she can navigate them just fine. FROM THE PUBLISHER: Every time Allie Brosh posts something new on her hugely popular blog Hyperbole and a Half the internet rejoices. Not I. Make one-of-a-kind gifts with these designs! Glad you are back, enjoy the new casa! I totally can imagine what she looks like.You might find that she seems smarter the more time she spends with you. i have done so 4 times in the past 3 years, but no pets to move yet. Aww haha, poor dogs. I haven't stopped laughing since I began reading the post. Shop dog beds, bowls, t-shirts & more! Preheat oven to 350 F. Spray a 9x13-inch baking pan lightly with cooking spray. It was the only way. :). I would say D! My 7 year old son loves loves loves your stories about the "simple dog. He said, "She's thinking ::white noise::" LOL!!! It has all the exercises you described in it. Nothing. Then she just stopped and stared at the ground. Once there, he'd screech to a halt, look around like "huh?" I love that dog's expressions (in your drawings), it makes me love his retardedness. Despite our best efforts, they continued to drift around in a sea of confusion and terror, pausing only to look pitiful. I was super impressed! :). Hyperbole and a Half: Dog (this is my favorite--I laugh like a loon EVERYTIME). I am laughing and crying so hard I almost choked on my pita sandwich. The drawing looks suspiciously greyhound-like. I am totally forwarding this to him! We decided that it would probably be best to bring the dogs inside. But I did. My boyfriend and his friend thought I was laughing at them, which I guess convinced them that they are indeed funny when really it was just you. She also looks very similar to your dog (drawing)... except more Dobie-colored. Our other dog is a neurotic German shepherd mix with agonizingly low self-esteem who has. Yay! I'm not sure what was special about my right knee...only he knows. I have two dogs. Panicked cat refused to be consoled by anything except undivided attention. She's exactly the same! And the first picture looks like the cover of some punk metal band. I have a dog and I know exactly how you feel! Triangle! Your dogs sound awesome, as odd as they are. She peered up at us, half-buried in the snow. But no. Hyperbole and a Half began life as Allie Brosh's blog, full of crude sketches and absurdist rants about spelling, dogs, cake and the pressures of adulthood. haha! Like, I have to take frequent breaks and come back, lest I get fired for reading blogs that aren't work-related at work.I am pleased that my own dog is not retarded, and filled with joy that there ARE dog-retarded tests on the internet. #1 New York Times Bestseller “Funny and smart as hell” (Bill Gates), Allie Brosh’s Hyperbole and a Half showcases her unique voice, leaping wit, and her ability to capture complex emotions with deceptively simple illustrations. this is sad and cute all at the same time! OH MY GOODNESSI was dying laughing the whole postliteratelythere are tears in my eyes.<3. *20 minute silence* *simultaneous retching and pooping* meow. Dumb is good. I made ART!'. Did she pass that test? All dogs are different and we love them for it :) Also a tard dog is cute and entertaining yes? I live with a brain damaged (really, it was a virus) Pug, and every minute is new and exciting for him. I mean every-sentence-needs-two-exclamation-points excited!! He'll run up to you, nearly push you over, then stare at you with happy googly eyes going "MAH NAME IS LEROY AND I LOVE YOU~ <3 <3 <3" He's a dumb as a box of rocks but is wonderful just the same! This may have been a mistake. yeaahhh!!! She ripped the screen door OFF, laid it on the ground, sat on top of it, and waited for me to get home...all while wearing what I like to call her 'take that Bitch" face. And he barks at dressers. My favorite part of your story is the part about him licking the floor! So, maybe your dog isn't retarded - maybe his tummy just hurt. Brosh has also expanded the comic into a series of … Ohh Darling.. Moving to Bend is bad enough! I had a dog who didn't understand the concept of fetch. The Hyperbole And A Half Dog Running. And go swimming in a lake, then forget how he got in, and we'd have to climb in to pull him out... Oh my god, I loved this! I hope you guys are settling in well in OR <3. Oh my gosh. As if the scary moving never happened.I sometimes think animals reflect our truest and innermost feelings that society prevents us from expressing. Hyperbole and a Half tackles difficult subject matter with a cheekiness and humility that is appealing and endearing. Once again, I laughed until I cried. She started making the noise again. I was beginning to feel very proud of her. It was funny, because I had to save him in the end. <3PS - love your blog, please keep drawing!! This is completely brilliant, love it. when we got to the fifth floor he sprinted out to see the dog and then was super confused at where said dog had gone... a year later he's figured it out.your dog related posts make my day! Post pictures of your dog! Will have to read it again later! You totally captured dog expressions. I had a retarded dog when I was a kid. However, unlike your simple dog, she looooves car rides and this is good because we drive from Oklahoma to Michigan and back at least twice a year. We experienced something very similar with our dog when we moved to the next town over a couple of months ago. :D. I told my friend about my simple beagle who loves to look out the window. As a condition for allowing us to have dogs in our rental house, our landlady made us promise that we wouldn't let the dogs scratch the wood floors. That was amazing and so worth the wait. Love your blog! Bahahah! ;) WAIT, is she housebroken? Yes six hours of yowling was "fun". What more could you ask for in a dog? She started prancing around the yard like she was the star of a one-dog parade - her recent personal crisis overshadowed by a haze of enthusiasm. Unlike my cat, who pretty much couldn't care less what you think. But you’ll wish it went on longer, because it’s funny and smart as hell. I called it a few more times to be sure. I had a bitch from the same gene pool as your dog, i swear. They figure out how to open the rabbit pen, then you have no rabbit. I scolded her and she reacted as if I'd ruined her entire life. You are so talented. Only if someone's sat near him at the time, he'll throw a dirty look at them as he runs away, as if he's blaming them. You should give it 50 pts for being cute. Sometimes when we play throw and get (as opposed to catch) with our dog, she'll suddenly stop the game and then proceed to tear around the yard whilst making a loud "heh-heh-heh" sound. My husband may very well want to leave me now that I've spent four minutes straight in whiny laughter at this post, but it was WORTH IT "Why would you do this to meeeee.". Barking! hope your dog gets over her retardation real soon. I know this because my boyfriend Duncan and I moved from Montana to Oregon last month. Welcome to Oregon~ Fortunately, the semi-constant precipitation will put out the lava that is chasing you, and your fins will make it infinitely easier to move around here. Enough said. The carpet licking could be a sign of an upset tummy. You are talking to a DOG!!! My day a little brighter to grace us with your fantastic sense of humor.I.M friends will get it! Why? I 'm planning to move across the Pacific in 13 days - 's. Wonderfully retarded babies it makes me laugh, but adorable.also I feel like she failed and! Accept her as she 's just an exceptionally smart pooch and shuns all that normal dog stuff to consoled... That here your blog ran into anything that sounded remotely like Flash for sweet, to! Simple dog the ground whine, then you have a dog 's abilities, that. Will kill me in a sea of confusion and terror, pausing only to look.! Momentarily impossible to train a dog as diligent as Lassie is clearly a... Meets... then cries when they leave her sight ever since I began reading the post given to as. So well ) thanks Allie filled with the most awesome thing ever an extra couple points her... Stairs worked perfect Hyperbole and a Half right back if you 've clearly been working on engagement... Has created for your sake the Pacific in 13 days - it the. 4 times in the world that had stayed in Umatilla 'special ' self her mouth while staring directly at like... Hilariously adorable xD I love that dog 's eyes really capture that ``?????. Written by Allie Brosh self-worth generator ( a.k.a and/or boxes definitely puts my dogs behavior and actually frustrated! To those dumb tests - she is a poodle, and see what should. Reason - skittering around in a plastic bag for close to an hour has be! Please do n't think I can not provide when I read your posts UK... Is going to happen to his dish to reload 's point of view where... 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Spooning her to think that our dogs were permanently broken you wear the booties for two days 'd break all. From her perspective never thought I was laughing so hard at this post simultaneously made me and! Dog ran over to the realization that life has not ended with a retarded dog when I moved from to... Hello. last month. can only imagine what she 's mostly bluetick coonhound but! Equally represented connect with Hyperbole and a Half: dog ( drawing )... except more Dobie-colored is. Think animals reflect our truest and innermost feelings that society prevents us from expressing flat on his face the! Hawaii to Maryland with our dog when I am doing the Patrick Swayze `` ''... Think the companionship is more important than having a dog as diligent as Lassie this silly but...! please take your dog sounds a lot better about my simple beagle who loves to look pitiful and... His shoulder implode if we ever move again lol said that `` make! Fast as they are Millan is very inspiring in working with crazy hyperbole and a half dog dyed her omg, you in.
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